When I die...

Can somebody please make sure that the song "Brooks Was Here" by Thomas Newman is played at my funeral... because it's pretty much the greatest musical achievement in the history of life...

Listen to it here.


That is all

-Cody

The Moon is Down

Lately, I've been getting this weird feeling, that I used to get when I was a kid. At any given time, I will kind of just... drop out of reality and I'll get this feeling that I don't know where I am (but I can tell myself "Hey, you are at ______," and I feel like I don't know who I am with, though I can also tell myself "that person is ______." It doesn't make a whole lot of sense when trying to describe it with words, and my parents thought I was nuts when I was a kid, and the feeling went away for about... 8 years...but I've been getting it lately... just thought I'd share...

-Cody

The Things We Fear Most

Today was an ordinary day. School, work, eventually I will sleep.

I've had something on my mind since about 5:15 today.

While walking out to my car to go to work, I noticed a neighbor of mine, Cameron, enjoying the great whether. You see, Cameron is not like most of us. He has muscular dystrophy which has crippled him to the extent that he can't do much except talk and push the joystick to his electric wheelchair. Cameron and I were once great friends. Despite his obvious limitations, there were times when he and I would play video games together, or get together on Monday nights to watch wrestling. As we grew up, we drifted apart. I was a teenager, I was living the typical teenage life. Cameron and I had lost contact and eventually Cameron had to leave school because of his health.

Today was different, however. I saw Cameron cruising up the street, enjoying the weather, and I left my house just in time to see him. He drove right past me, not noticing me until I said "Hey Cameron." He turned his wheelchair around and returned the greeting. Cameron and I had gone probably the better half of five years without speaking. This is surprising, considering we live less than 100 feet from each other. But when one person is wheelchair bound and not able to be outside year round, and the other person is living the life, going to college, working... there isn't much time in between in which moments like this take place.

So I stood there and chatted with him. I noticed how frail he had become, though he seemed to be in pretty good spirits. I don't talk to him about his health, because if I were him, that'd be the last thing I'd want to talk about. After I told him about my life and how things were going, we parted ways... Sounds like a typical encounter between two reunited friends, but this was different.

On my drive to work, I just kept thinking about the encounter. I was overwhelmed with a feeling I can't describe. Take guilt, for not remaining friend with Cameron throughout our teen years, add some depression, and maybe even some happiness and mix it with every emotion you've ever felt... That's how I felt.

I can say that I am very glad that Cameron is alive. I am depressed because Cameron is the strongest person I've ever met, and deserved better. Throughout the years that he and I were friends, I never once heard him complain about his health. NOT ONCE. You want to meet someone who has never taken life for granted? If there exists such a person, Cameron is that person.

I guess the whole point of this blog is to address a few things. We all take life for granted. Every single one of us. We go, day by day, we have friends, we can walk, we can laugh, we can learn, we can drink ourselves into oblivion, we can smoke ourselves to death. People go out and risk their lives drinking and driving, having unprotected sex, committing suicide. These are careless acts. For every person who ends up paralyzed from drinking and driving, there is someone who can't help that they're paralyzed. For every person who gets AIDS from unprotected sex, there's someone out there who's dying of cancer, and there is nothing they could've done to stop it. For everyone who commits suicide, there is someone in a wheelchair watching their life fade away. For everyone who carelessly lives their life, there are those people out there who wish they even had that chance...

Some people don't have it as good as we do, and we just take it all for granted. People complain because they are fat, or ugly, or have nappy hair or a big nose. Yeah, well...what if you couldn't fucking walk? Walking is a basic task that not everyone has the privilege of doing. Now, I'm no exception. I complain about things too. I don't like being overweight, or having stupid looking hair. I don't like that I don't have all the money in the world, or that I'm paying for my own schooling on said lack of funds. People live life like there's no tomorrow, and I appreciate that. Maybe we'd be better off knowing that there most likely WILL be a tomorrow for us, and not for everyone. What if you knew you only had so much time left on this earth? I'd bet you'd have done things a whole lot differently...

I know I would have...

And so it begins...again...

So yeah. School started, again. It's school, to say the least. Basically my days consist of waking up at 6:45am, getting to school by 8am, sitting around in the student center until 10am and then having class until 3. From there, I do homework when I get home and go in to work most days at 5:30pm. Needless to say, I'm not really enjoying it. The weeks have been going by fast, which is good, I suppose, but I have little to no free time anymore. I'm always kind of tired and just want it to be over with. The band's progress has slowed to a crawl because of the lack of free time and that's crappy.

In unrelated news, Since my last post, the band has finally issued our first full-length album, entitled "Jailbreak." The entire album is available for download/streaming on our last.fm page (http://www.last.fm/music/Bull+Dyke+Rodeo) - if you're interested in picking up an official copy, please get ahold of me (via Facebook, email(cjsand@gmail.com), or AIM(marpstar)). All album purchases come with free stickers and other cool (read:none) shit.

So let's talk about school. This year I am taking:
1) Principles of Sociology
2) Elementary German
3) Calculus I
4) Programming in Visual Basic
5) Object Oriented Programming & Data Structures II

Basically that means:
1) Math takes up most of my time
2) Programming is a close second, but since I'm fairly driven to program, I tend to work on programs right away and get them finished, leaving me with a week of no programming.
3) I'm trying to learn a second language and it's not fun.
4) Sociology class probably won't benefit me a whole lot in my given field of study.

I can't wait until I'm done with school. I could've taken the easy route and just gotten some certificate from NICC and this would be my last semester, but I'm somewhat empowered by the fact that I'm attending a university, rather than a community college. That and I've never met someone from NICC's computer program that actually knew anything, but who knows what I could have done.

Kaylena and I are thinking about moving to Omaha once we're done with school. We visited Omaha over the summer and we totally loved the city. Plus it'd be a nice change of pace for both of us. Most people who graduate in this area stay in this area. I don't want to be one of those people who's stuck in Dubuque the rest of my life. I want to explore. I want to move around. I want to experience living in a city where there is actually something to do. I fell in love with Omaha's 'Old Market' - basically the downtown area filled with small shops and restaurants. The atmosphere was just there, and it was indescribable. Plus Kaylena loves the zoo, and the zoo is massive and is "awesome."

But, I suppose we'll see in about...4 years how things pan out. I, personally, can't wait.

New Fish

Argh. It's amazing how one can have a great day and end on such a sour note. I'd rather not go into details, but I'm depressed right now. I think I may be more angry than depressed, but it's all kind of slopped together right now. Angry, Frustration, Confusion, Depression. I'm listening to some more calming music trying to settle down and get over it, but I think I really just need to sleep it off.

Ah well, I suppose reflecting on what happened is irrelevant, as tomorrow is a brand new day.

Fork.

Vacation

Yeah. So I just got back from my vacation two days ago, and I'd like to recap what happened throughout my stay in Omaha.

Me and Kaylena depart Dubuque at about 10:00am on Tuesday 7/24. We stop at a gas station to get some snacks and ice and we hit the road. Five minutes later, I realize I forgot the ice, so we decide to stop at a gas station later in the day. The ride from Dubuque to Interstate 80 was pretty smooth. We ended up listening to some Dane Cook standup while driving, and eventually throw in Radiohead's 'The Bends,' which we listen to 4 times before the trip is over. We try to find a nice Chinese restaurant to eat at, but my GPS is fuckin' up, and we basically just get lost in Des Moines. So, we decide "fuck Des Moines" and we get back on the highway.

We eventually stop in West Des Moines to get gas, and spot a TGIFriday's across the road. We decide to eat there. Me and Kaylena both order a strawberry lemonade slushy, and surprisingly the slushies were free-refill. That's a fuckin' win. I order a mushroom & swiss burger, which is pretty much my new favorite burger. Kaylena orders some chicken dish, alfredo, something, I don't remember really. She said it was good. My burger was good, our waitress was great. It was a great start to our trip.

We finally arrive at our hotel, the Settle Inn in Council Bluffs, IA. First thing I notice is that our hotel is in the business district of Council Bluffs. Red Lobster, Golden Corral, Appleby's, and other great restaurants within walking distance...that's a score... We settle in at the hotel, watch some TV until dinner time.

We decide to eat at Red Lobster for dinner. I had the Ultimate Feast and Kaylena had Snow Crab. The Food was spectacular, as Red Lobster always is, and again, the service was great. I was getting pissed at our great service because it cost me a lot of money in tips, but it was worth it. After dinner, we head to the pool area and enjoy some hot tub and pool action. We go upstairs and watch TV until going to sleep.

We awake the next day, the Zoo day. We get ready, and head to the Zoo. I add another state to my "states I've visited" list as we cross into Nebraska. The Zoo is right next to the border, and was easy to find. We enter the Zoo and spend a couple hours enjoying the animals, get some nachos to eat, and finally go and see Deep Sea 3D at the IMAX theater within the Zoo. Great time had by both Kaylena and I.

After the Zoo, we head back to the hotel and eat turkey sandwhiches to hold us off until dinner. We hit the pool again and relax for awhile. We come back to the room and I use my laptop to find other cool shit to do in Omaha. I find the "Old Market" downtown area, which seems cool, so we decide to go.

At the Old Market, there were tons of shops, restaurants with patio seating. It's everything I'd want in a city, for real. We walk around, visit the hippy shop, where Kaylena buys a tanktop, and we visit Drastic Plastic, a record store which had some cool shit, such as Sunn and Boris shirts, and Homer's, a record store where I found gold in some Mogwai, Explosions in the Sky, Sigur Ros, and Zozobra CDs.

After shopping, we head to Famous Dave's BBQ in Old Market, where Kaylena and I attempt to devour the "feast for two." Needless to say, we failed, but the food was good. My stomach seemed to disagree, as I got a minor stomach ache, but got over it after taking some Tums.

We hit the pool, again, and just hang out for the rest of the night. We watched some of "Final Destination 3" which was horrible, and just reflected on how good our vacation was going. Little did I know, at the time, I was jinxing myself.

On Thursday, we pack our shit after enjoying a good continental breakfast at the hotel, and leave. We're about 15 minutes out of Council Bluffs when the unthinkable happens...

I'm cruising down the interstate at a modest 74MPH (normally I'd be going about 80, considering it's a 70MPH zone.) I'm following a semi in front of me, and I glance into my rear view mirror. Sure enough, there is a state patrol car behind me. I slow down a bit, but just as my foot rests on the break pedal, the cops lights begin to flash. Speechless, I just look over to Kaylena and said "uhh...I think we're being pulled over..."

The cop pulls us over and walks up to the car. He asks me for license, registration, and proof of insurance. I hand over the license and registration, but do not have proof of insurance. I'm not driving my car, but my mother's, and there is no proof of insurance to be found. The cop, surprisingly, did not seem to mind that I didn't. He asks me to get out of the car and walk back, and take a seat in the passenger seat of his patrol car. He questions Kaylena and returns to his car to question me. I get interrogated - "Where are you coming from? Where are you going? Do you have any drugs in the car? Any open alcohol containers? Any Marijuana? Meth? Cocaine? Heroin? Weapons? Large sums of cash?"

After answering his questions, he tells me that he pulled me over because I was speeding (74 in a 70, mind you) and because my mom's license plate holder was illegal (no idea...). He lets me off with a warning and I return to my car. Me and Kaylena get back on the road and head home. I can't help but laugh over the irony of the entire situation. A perfect vacation followed by a run-in with a state trooper. Would only happen to me...

I returned to work (and reality) on Friday...


The album is almost done. Only minor tweaking and artwork remain. We're setting up a record-release show sometime in August hopefully. I'll keep you posted.

Ceremony Ek Stasis

Originally intended to be posted on 7/15:

So yeah... I'm bored and all of my friends are working...except my computer of course. I thought I was going to have something useful to post on this blog, but I don't think I am.

I am, however, going to see Weedeater and Minsk tonight in Iowa City. Should be a good show.

The album is nearly completion. Two songs done, need to be mixed and mastered, a third is about 7/8 done, and the remaining two need guitar tracks. After this, we're going to have them mass produced and you're going to buy one.

Anyone got any money they wanna get rid of for a good cause? Let us know...

It's Been Awhile

So yeah...It has been a LONG while...

First and foremost, I'd like to tell you about how life has been. Most of my time lately has been focused on the band's album. We've finally got all of the drums tracked and 3/5 of the bass. "Scumbags..." has been completely tracked and I just need to make a few minor adjustments and it's ready to go, you can preview the track HERE. Other than that, the band has been taking it easy as far as touring goes, which is good, because I'd like to focus on the album only until it's finished.

I've been starting to get the studio organized. I just bought a new storage cabinet for all of my shit, and it's beginning to feel like a real studio. Our friends from Between The Eternities will be joining me in the studio soon, hopefully before summer is out.

Summer is finally beginning to feel like summer.

The real point of this blog (it's 4:20am...smoke up Johnny...) is that I am stuck awake because when I get into an organizing mood, there's really no stopping me. I'm not tired right now, but I have to be in the studio again at 11am. Oh well, life goes on, I suppose. It's not like I have to work tomorrow...

Speaking of work, I really wish I could get some more hours, but I have been enjoying the time off, I won't lie to you. Work is work, and I need the money.

Blah blah blah.

I went canoeing last week and it was good, minus sunburn and having to jump into the creek to get our canoe unstuck. The fireworks were good, I enjoyed myself. I must admit, I even enjoy the massive downpour immediately following the conclusion of the fireworks...things like that make life a bit more interesting.

I'm ready to go back to school, which I know sounds stupid to most of you, but I really want to get school over with, get my degree, secure a real job, let the money start flowing, and begin my life.

Who knows what life holds for me after I finish school. I've considered continuing school and getting a Master's degree, but who knows. I also considered studying abroad, but at this point in my life, I really don't feel like leaving the country for an extended period of time. I'll probably end up finishing school, moving to a bigger city (not Chicago big, but maybe Iowa City, Cedar Rapids, or Madison big) and getting a job as a software developer. Ah well, I've got about 3 years to worry about that...so I won't get into it now.

Life is swell over all, and to anyone who reads this, I wish you the same...

Until next time...

-Cody

Some good advice.

I have a bad ear infection right now. It's horrible. I thought that I would take the time I have right now (I'm waiting for my sleeping pills to kick in) to share some great advice I have learned, both in and out of reality.

1. Do not go swimming without earplugs.
2. Don't ever let anyone sign your checks (thanks Heavyweights).
3. Don't put twinkies on your pizza (thanks again, Heavyweights).

Fuck...I got nothing. I really just wanted a reason to post those Heavyweights quotes.

Please wish me luck with my illness.

-Cody

bulldyke tour '07

It's Monday. I am sore. I am tired. Overall, I feel like complete shit.

Saturday, I woke up at around 2:30 and lazed out for 2 hours until we had to meet at Pirhana's house before trekking up to La Crosse, WI to play. I had the van with me, so we loaded that bitch up, and went on our merry way. The drive isn't bad, Kurt and Werner accompanied me in the van, so general conversation made the trip seem shorter. We get to La Crosse, start loading in. I'm somewhat disappointed as there's only ~20 people in the whole bar. I get over it quickly. The band playing before us, Orwell, takes the stage. They're not horrible, but not anything I'd listen to in my free time. After Orwell finishes, they pack up, and all but one of their members are kicked out of the bar for being underage. Of course, 12/16 of the remaining people leave the bar. We take the stage and play for 4 people: two fat guys, one of the fat guys' girlfriend, and one of the guitarists from Orwell. The real story however is much more interesting. Pirhana, in his infinite wisdom, decides that it would be a GREAT idea to drink heavily before the show. Needless to say, he gets totally wasted and can barely function, let alone play his instrument. Pirhana ends up playing like shit, being a total jackass to EVERYONE, and to top it all off, gets punched in the face by Werner. All in all, the night was fun, we sold a tshirt, met some good people, and we rocked some covers with our newest fans.

Sunday, I woke up, and felt pretty decent despite coming home at 5am, unloading all of our shit, and still staying up until 6:30am before going to bed. I wake up at about...2pm and realize that me unloading the van was worthless because I could've used it again. I call my dad, get the van, and load everything myself. Go to the show, unload, the usual BS. Some guy, Orthus, and Reptar play. In the mean time, I go to A&W and eat a double cheeseburger, while feeling a heart attack coming. I go back, and Black Cobra is getting ready to take the stage...

HOLY SHIT.

Black Cobra totally destroys all. And when I say destroy, I mean they fuckin' ANNIHILATED. I buy a shirt and CD, and we take the stage. I knew that this show could not possibly go as bad as Saturday night's show. We open up with "Scumbags Meet the Judge on Monday Morning" -- I must remind everyone that we were playing for quite a few people, compared to the usual Busted Lift shows -- and we're fuckin' ON. The song goes great, and we're just beating bitches up. State of the Art Bang Bang is next, which also went very well. We play the rest of our set and it, for me at least, was probably the best show we've ever played. We played some Danzig with none other than Mr. Kolker, the creepy soundguy, and Kiss' "Cold Gin" and Dangerous Toys' "Teas'n Pleas'n." The crowd, of course, eats our covers up and it's a great time had by all.

Then I wake up today, and I feel like total dogshit. I'm better now, but overall, it was fuckin' worth it.

I went out today and dropped another $100+ on studio gear (mainly cables, mic clips, and other miscellaneous debris). The studio, I believe, is set to go. We're planning on beginning the recording process this Thursday, so hopefully Werner doesn't book us any more shows until it's done, so you fine folks can all buy the album at our next show.

I'm fuckin' done...
-Cody

Relief Sets In

So. Today was a decent day, you might say. I woke up at around noon, got a great night sleep thanks in part to Tylenol PM, the wonder-drug. As you may have heard, or may not have heard, or may not have even read my blogs or talked with me before, U.S. Cellular had expressed interest in my coming to work for them as a cell phone technician. I had mulled over my options for roughly two weeks. Yes, Best Buy is frustrating at times, and I had seriously considered leaving to pursue other endeavors, but ultimately, I decided that Best Buy has been too good to me over my two year stay for me to leave them.

Yes, U.S. Cellular was offering me more money, we're talking almost $2 more an hour. In the long run, I decided that an increase in pay was not enough for me to leave. My coworkers at Best Buy are my second family. So if you're my coworker, and you're reading this, I want to say thanks for being great coworkers.

In other news, the band is going "on tour" this weekend, so to speak. We're hitting LaCrosse on Saturday, and back to Dubuque on Sunday. If you're in the area, come to the Busted Lift on Sunday at about 5pm, get your drink on, and watch some great bands.

Phase I of zlobstudios is nearly complete. Waiting for the last pieces of gear and then bulldykerodeo will be hitting the studio next week. Our Tshirts are ready to go, stickers on the way. Overall, the band is moving forward at a decent pace, and the band still owes me $340.

I ain't got much else to add right now.

-Cody

Summer Arrives...

Tis been awhile since I posted. Since my last post, I have completed my last final and totally moved out of Platteville. Over the year, I learned quite a few things. I definitely grew up, and have a true understanding of what it means to live away from home. All in all, I'm glad I lived in the dorms, as it was a great experience, but you won't see me doing it again any time soon. I plan on living at home for both Fall 07 and Spring 08, and then after that, as long as everyone's finances allow it, I would like to get a place (whether it be an apartment or a house) for me and some friends, preferably within walking distance of school. But, that's the future, and I try not to worry about that.

More recently, I have been waiting for my grades to post on the internet. I know I passed my Java, Music Appreciation, Composition, and Leadership & Management classes, but my Trig class is another story. I went into the final with about a 75% or so, and I THINK I did at least that on the test, but time will tell.

I've been working less, making less money, yet investing more and more into zlobstudios. zlobstudios is my home recording studio that I am constantly expanding. The first recording at zlob will take place beginning the first week in June. This, of course, will be the bulldykerodeo recordings, on which I will be both producing, but also contributing some guitar playing. I plan on continuing the expansion of the studio to accommodate other local bands in hopes of recording without the cost of a professional level studio. I'm working on a website for it now, and will hopefully have it up sometime this year.

I've realized lately, that despite my free time, I don't really get much productive stuff done. I've decided today that I'm going to try and come up with a program idea and start work. I wish I knew just a LITTLE bit more about programming so I could work on some open source projects, but I'm not great at programming in anything but Java and VB.net as of right now. The time will come, I suppose.

Ah well. It's very dark outside and I'm looking forward to that coming storm. I love storms.

-Cody

The Finale

So yeah. Today was a pretty productive day. After hanging out with Kaylena and Nick last night, I stayed over at Kaylena's house and woke up and made myself a decent breakfast for the first time in awhile. I had two egg and cheese English muffin sandwiches...Solid. After this, we went to Kaylena's school to grab her art project, and came home. I hung out for a little bit, then I had to head home to get ready to come back to school.

So I get my shit together, and head back to Platteville, for the last time this school year. I get to my room and study for my final at 3pm. I leave, take the final, take some books back, get some food, and head off to band practice.

At practice, it was very productive. We're finally solidifying things for both the upcoming gigs and the recording of the album next month. For the win...

After practice, I came back, studied my ass off for math, but not before eating some McDonald's which put my into a minor depression. Bullshit... I'm good now, I think I'm ready for this Trigonometry test at 8am. I am tired, and ready. In approximately 11 hours (as of 11pm 5/16/07) I will have completed my first year of college.

Ah, the things I've learned this year. I've grown up quite a bit. If I weren't as tired as I am, I'd get into it now...but I'll leave that for another blog...

-Cody

What a day...

Today started like any other Monday. I stayed at home last night, rather than staying in the dorms, because I didn't have any class until 1pm. So I woke up at around 11:30am and did the usual preparation so I could face the day. I left my house and began my trek to Platteville at around 12pm. I was rockin' out to some Neil Young and looking forward to dominating on my English exam. I arrive in Platteville and get a great parking spot. I unhook my iPod to take inside, and I put it into the mp3 player pouch on my laptop bag. I proceed to my room, where I look at the mess Loney left, and walk over to the window to turn the fan on. I set my laptop bag on my desk and realize that my iPod is now missing. Now, normally this sort of situation would've had me yelling, screaming, and throwing things, but since I was alone, none of those things would've done me any good. So I think to myself "how could this iPod have fallen out without me noticing?" I look all over my room, but to no avail. So, I pack up my stuff for class and retrace my steps looking for a lost iPod laying in the grass. I fail to find it. I run back to my room, just to double check, and it's still no where to be found. I trace my steps AGAIN back to my car, check under my car, under my seats, etc and still cannot find it.

By this point, I figure that if I haven't found it, it's gone. A wave of depression hits me, much like the depression I felt when mine and Bill's cars were burglarized back in August. I handled it much better than I thought I would. I had been on a money spending streak for the past month (mainly for my recording studio: zlobstudios...coming soon), and now I had to add another iPod to my shopping list. All this after just upgrading to the 80GB iPod last month.

So, I chalk up the iPod as another expense, and blame myself for not making sure the iPod was secure enough in my pouch. I proceed to my English final, which I finish in about 15 minutes, and then walk to the student center to eat some food. I eat some good Chinese food while enjoying "The Colbert Report." My mind is finally off of the iPod and I begin moving on with life... after all, this isn't the first time I've lost something.

I come back to my room, and begin bitching to everyone I know that I lost my iPod. I try to get over it, but I work hard for my money, and don't like losing my shit. Everyone tells me it's OK, but really...it's not.

Around 5pm, I'm nearly over the iPod situation, and begin studying for my next final. I take a break from studying and lean back in my chair to take a deep breath. When leaning forward again, I catch a glimpse of something underneath the bed. I take a second look, and realize what I'm looking at. Stunned, I just stare at it, rather than trying to grab it. After about 10 seconds, I come to my senses and reach under, and grab what I've been looking for all afternoon, my treasured iPod, loaded with 30GB of music, all safe and sound in my room. A feeling of relief comes over me, and my day brightens again...

The Beginning (and the End)

Yeah... I'm bored, and am really looking for something to occupy myself. So I figured, since the internet is turning into a giant blog, I figured I would join. I don't have much to say right now. I'm in the middle of a review sheet for trigonometry, which is the only final I have to study for. Overall, the year has gone pretty quickly, and hopefully my next 91 credits go as smoothly as these first 29, and I'll be out of here in no time.

Until next time...
-Cody