Can somebody please make sure that the song "Brooks Was Here" by Thomas Newman is played at my funeral... because it's pretty much the greatest musical achievement in the history of life...
Listen to it here.
That is all
-Cody
Friday, October 5, 2007
Saturday, September 29, 2007
The Moon is Down
Lately, I've been getting this weird feeling, that I used to get when I was a kid. At any given time, I will kind of just... drop out of reality and I'll get this feeling that I don't know where I am (but I can tell myself "Hey, you are at ______," and I feel like I don't know who I am with, though I can also tell myself "that person is ______." It doesn't make a whole lot of sense when trying to describe it with words, and my parents thought I was nuts when I was a kid, and the feeling went away for about... 8 years...but I've been getting it lately... just thought I'd share...
-Cody
-Cody
Wednesday, September 26, 2007
The Things We Fear Most
Today was an ordinary day. School, work, eventually I will sleep.
I've had something on my mind since about 5:15 today.
While walking out to my car to go to work, I noticed a neighbor of mine, Cameron, enjoying the great whether. You see, Cameron is not like most of us. He has muscular dystrophy which has crippled him to the extent that he can't do much except talk and push the joystick to his electric wheelchair. Cameron and I were once great friends. Despite his obvious limitations, there were times when he and I would play video games together, or get together on Monday nights to watch wrestling. As we grew up, we drifted apart. I was a teenager, I was living the typical teenage life. Cameron and I had lost contact and eventually Cameron had to leave school because of his health.
Today was different, however. I saw Cameron cruising up the street, enjoying the weather, and I left my house just in time to see him. He drove right past me, not noticing me until I said "Hey Cameron." He turned his wheelchair around and returned the greeting. Cameron and I had gone probably the better half of five years without speaking. This is surprising, considering we live less than 100 feet from each other. But when one person is wheelchair bound and not able to be outside year round, and the other person is living the life, going to college, working... there isn't much time in between in which moments like this take place.
So I stood there and chatted with him. I noticed how frail he had become, though he seemed to be in pretty good spirits. I don't talk to him about his health, because if I were him, that'd be the last thing I'd want to talk about. After I told him about my life and how things were going, we parted ways... Sounds like a typical encounter between two reunited friends, but this was different.
On my drive to work, I just kept thinking about the encounter. I was overwhelmed with a feeling I can't describe. Take guilt, for not remaining friend with Cameron throughout our teen years, add some depression, and maybe even some happiness and mix it with every emotion you've ever felt... That's how I felt.
I can say that I am very glad that Cameron is alive. I am depressed because Cameron is the strongest person I've ever met, and deserved better. Throughout the years that he and I were friends, I never once heard him complain about his health. NOT ONCE. You want to meet someone who has never taken life for granted? If there exists such a person, Cameron is that person.
I guess the whole point of this blog is to address a few things. We all take life for granted. Every single one of us. We go, day by day, we have friends, we can walk, we can laugh, we can learn, we can drink ourselves into oblivion, we can smoke ourselves to death. People go out and risk their lives drinking and driving, having unprotected sex, committing suicide. These are careless acts. For every person who ends up paralyzed from drinking and driving, there is someone who can't help that they're paralyzed. For every person who gets AIDS from unprotected sex, there's someone out there who's dying of cancer, and there is nothing they could've done to stop it. For everyone who commits suicide, there is someone in a wheelchair watching their life fade away. For everyone who carelessly lives their life, there are those people out there who wish they even had that chance...
Some people don't have it as good as we do, and we just take it all for granted. People complain because they are fat, or ugly, or have nappy hair or a big nose. Yeah, well...what if you couldn't fucking walk? Walking is a basic task that not everyone has the privilege of doing. Now, I'm no exception. I complain about things too. I don't like being overweight, or having stupid looking hair. I don't like that I don't have all the money in the world, or that I'm paying for my own schooling on said lack of funds. People live life like there's no tomorrow, and I appreciate that. Maybe we'd be better off knowing that there most likely WILL be a tomorrow for us, and not for everyone. What if you knew you only had so much time left on this earth? I'd bet you'd have done things a whole lot differently...
I know I would have...
I've had something on my mind since about 5:15 today.
While walking out to my car to go to work, I noticed a neighbor of mine, Cameron, enjoying the great whether. You see, Cameron is not like most of us. He has muscular dystrophy which has crippled him to the extent that he can't do much except talk and push the joystick to his electric wheelchair. Cameron and I were once great friends. Despite his obvious limitations, there were times when he and I would play video games together, or get together on Monday nights to watch wrestling. As we grew up, we drifted apart. I was a teenager, I was living the typical teenage life. Cameron and I had lost contact and eventually Cameron had to leave school because of his health.
Today was different, however. I saw Cameron cruising up the street, enjoying the weather, and I left my house just in time to see him. He drove right past me, not noticing me until I said "Hey Cameron." He turned his wheelchair around and returned the greeting. Cameron and I had gone probably the better half of five years without speaking. This is surprising, considering we live less than 100 feet from each other. But when one person is wheelchair bound and not able to be outside year round, and the other person is living the life, going to college, working... there isn't much time in between in which moments like this take place.
So I stood there and chatted with him. I noticed how frail he had become, though he seemed to be in pretty good spirits. I don't talk to him about his health, because if I were him, that'd be the last thing I'd want to talk about. After I told him about my life and how things were going, we parted ways... Sounds like a typical encounter between two reunited friends, but this was different.
On my drive to work, I just kept thinking about the encounter. I was overwhelmed with a feeling I can't describe. Take guilt, for not remaining friend with Cameron throughout our teen years, add some depression, and maybe even some happiness and mix it with every emotion you've ever felt... That's how I felt.
I can say that I am very glad that Cameron is alive. I am depressed because Cameron is the strongest person I've ever met, and deserved better. Throughout the years that he and I were friends, I never once heard him complain about his health. NOT ONCE. You want to meet someone who has never taken life for granted? If there exists such a person, Cameron is that person.
I guess the whole point of this blog is to address a few things. We all take life for granted. Every single one of us. We go, day by day, we have friends, we can walk, we can laugh, we can learn, we can drink ourselves into oblivion, we can smoke ourselves to death. People go out and risk their lives drinking and driving, having unprotected sex, committing suicide. These are careless acts. For every person who ends up paralyzed from drinking and driving, there is someone who can't help that they're paralyzed. For every person who gets AIDS from unprotected sex, there's someone out there who's dying of cancer, and there is nothing they could've done to stop it. For everyone who commits suicide, there is someone in a wheelchair watching their life fade away. For everyone who carelessly lives their life, there are those people out there who wish they even had that chance...
Some people don't have it as good as we do, and we just take it all for granted. People complain because they are fat, or ugly, or have nappy hair or a big nose. Yeah, well...what if you couldn't fucking walk? Walking is a basic task that not everyone has the privilege of doing. Now, I'm no exception. I complain about things too. I don't like being overweight, or having stupid looking hair. I don't like that I don't have all the money in the world, or that I'm paying for my own schooling on said lack of funds. People live life like there's no tomorrow, and I appreciate that. Maybe we'd be better off knowing that there most likely WILL be a tomorrow for us, and not for everyone. What if you knew you only had so much time left on this earth? I'd bet you'd have done things a whole lot differently...
I know I would have...
Monday, September 17, 2007
And so it begins...again...
So yeah. School started, again. It's school, to say the least. Basically my days consist of waking up at 6:45am, getting to school by 8am, sitting around in the student center until 10am and then having class until 3. From there, I do homework when I get home and go in to work most days at 5:30pm. Needless to say, I'm not really enjoying it. The weeks have been going by fast, which is good, I suppose, but I have little to no free time anymore. I'm always kind of tired and just want it to be over with. The band's progress has slowed to a crawl because of the lack of free time and that's crappy.
In unrelated news, Since my last post, the band has finally issued our first full-length album, entitled "Jailbreak." The entire album is available for download/streaming on our last.fm page (http://www.last.fm/music/Bull+Dyke+Rodeo) - if you're interested in picking up an official copy, please get ahold of me (via Facebook, email(cjsand@gmail.com), or AIM(marpstar)). All album purchases come with free stickers and other cool (read:none) shit.
So let's talk about school. This year I am taking:
1) Principles of Sociology
2) Elementary German
3) Calculus I
4) Programming in Visual Basic
5) Object Oriented Programming & Data Structures II
Basically that means:
1) Math takes up most of my time
2) Programming is a close second, but since I'm fairly driven to program, I tend to work on programs right away and get them finished, leaving me with a week of no programming.
3) I'm trying to learn a second language and it's not fun.
4) Sociology class probably won't benefit me a whole lot in my given field of study.
I can't wait until I'm done with school. I could've taken the easy route and just gotten some certificate from NICC and this would be my last semester, but I'm somewhat empowered by the fact that I'm attending a university, rather than a community college. That and I've never met someone from NICC's computer program that actually knew anything, but who knows what I could have done.
Kaylena and I are thinking about moving to Omaha once we're done with school. We visited Omaha over the summer and we totally loved the city. Plus it'd be a nice change of pace for both of us. Most people who graduate in this area stay in this area. I don't want to be one of those people who's stuck in Dubuque the rest of my life. I want to explore. I want to move around. I want to experience living in a city where there is actually something to do. I fell in love with Omaha's 'Old Market' - basically the downtown area filled with small shops and restaurants. The atmosphere was just there, and it was indescribable. Plus Kaylena loves the zoo, and the zoo is massive and is "awesome."
But, I suppose we'll see in about...4 years how things pan out. I, personally, can't wait.
In unrelated news, Since my last post, the band has finally issued our first full-length album, entitled "Jailbreak." The entire album is available for download/streaming on our last.fm page (http://www.last.fm/music/Bull+Dyke+Rodeo) - if you're interested in picking up an official copy, please get ahold of me (via Facebook, email(cjsand@gmail.com), or AIM(marpstar)). All album purchases come with free stickers and other cool (read:none) shit.
So let's talk about school. This year I am taking:
1) Principles of Sociology
2) Elementary German
3) Calculus I
4) Programming in Visual Basic
5) Object Oriented Programming & Data Structures II
Basically that means:
1) Math takes up most of my time
2) Programming is a close second, but since I'm fairly driven to program, I tend to work on programs right away and get them finished, leaving me with a week of no programming.
3) I'm trying to learn a second language and it's not fun.
4) Sociology class probably won't benefit me a whole lot in my given field of study.
I can't wait until I'm done with school. I could've taken the easy route and just gotten some certificate from NICC and this would be my last semester, but I'm somewhat empowered by the fact that I'm attending a university, rather than a community college. That and I've never met someone from NICC's computer program that actually knew anything, but who knows what I could have done.
Kaylena and I are thinking about moving to Omaha once we're done with school. We visited Omaha over the summer and we totally loved the city. Plus it'd be a nice change of pace for both of us. Most people who graduate in this area stay in this area. I don't want to be one of those people who's stuck in Dubuque the rest of my life. I want to explore. I want to move around. I want to experience living in a city where there is actually something to do. I fell in love with Omaha's 'Old Market' - basically the downtown area filled with small shops and restaurants. The atmosphere was just there, and it was indescribable. Plus Kaylena loves the zoo, and the zoo is massive and is "awesome."
But, I suppose we'll see in about...4 years how things pan out. I, personally, can't wait.
Friday, August 3, 2007
New Fish
Argh. It's amazing how one can have a great day and end on such a sour note. I'd rather not go into details, but I'm depressed right now. I think I may be more angry than depressed, but it's all kind of slopped together right now. Angry, Frustration, Confusion, Depression. I'm listening to some more calming music trying to settle down and get over it, but I think I really just need to sleep it off.
Ah well, I suppose reflecting on what happened is irrelevant, as tomorrow is a brand new day.
Fork.
Ah well, I suppose reflecting on what happened is irrelevant, as tomorrow is a brand new day.
Fork.
Saturday, July 28, 2007
Vacation
Yeah. So I just got back from my vacation two days ago, and I'd like to recap what happened throughout my stay in Omaha.
Me and Kaylena depart Dubuque at about 10:00am on Tuesday 7/24. We stop at a gas station to get some snacks and ice and we hit the road. Five minutes later, I realize I forgot the ice, so we decide to stop at a gas station later in the day. The ride from Dubuque to Interstate 80 was pretty smooth. We ended up listening to some Dane Cook standup while driving, and eventually throw in Radiohead's 'The Bends,' which we listen to 4 times before the trip is over. We try to find a nice Chinese restaurant to eat at, but my GPS is fuckin' up, and we basically just get lost in Des Moines. So, we decide "fuck Des Moines" and we get back on the highway.
We eventually stop in West Des Moines to get gas, and spot a TGIFriday's across the road. We decide to eat there. Me and Kaylena both order a strawberry lemonade slushy, and surprisingly the slushies were free-refill. That's a fuckin' win. I order a mushroom & swiss burger, which is pretty much my new favorite burger. Kaylena orders some chicken dish, alfredo, something, I don't remember really. She said it was good. My burger was good, our waitress was great. It was a great start to our trip.
We finally arrive at our hotel, the Settle Inn in Council Bluffs, IA. First thing I notice is that our hotel is in the business district of Council Bluffs. Red Lobster, Golden Corral, Appleby's, and other great restaurants within walking distance...that's a score... We settle in at the hotel, watch some TV until dinner time.
We decide to eat at Red Lobster for dinner. I had the Ultimate Feast and Kaylena had Snow Crab. The Food was spectacular, as Red Lobster always is, and again, the service was great. I was getting pissed at our great service because it cost me a lot of money in tips, but it was worth it. After dinner, we head to the pool area and enjoy some hot tub and pool action. We go upstairs and watch TV until going to sleep.
We awake the next day, the Zoo day. We get ready, and head to the Zoo. I add another state to my "states I've visited" list as we cross into Nebraska. The Zoo is right next to the border, and was easy to find. We enter the Zoo and spend a couple hours enjoying the animals, get some nachos to eat, and finally go and see Deep Sea 3D at the IMAX theater within the Zoo. Great time had by both Kaylena and I.
After the Zoo, we head back to the hotel and eat turkey sandwhiches to hold us off until dinner. We hit the pool again and relax for awhile. We come back to the room and I use my laptop to find other cool shit to do in Omaha. I find the "Old Market" downtown area, which seems cool, so we decide to go.
At the Old Market, there were tons of shops, restaurants with patio seating. It's everything I'd want in a city, for real. We walk around, visit the hippy shop, where Kaylena buys a tanktop, and we visit Drastic Plastic, a record store which had some cool shit, such as Sunn and Boris shirts, and Homer's, a record store where I found gold in some Mogwai, Explosions in the Sky, Sigur Ros, and Zozobra CDs.
After shopping, we head to Famous Dave's BBQ in Old Market, where Kaylena and I attempt to devour the "feast for two." Needless to say, we failed, but the food was good. My stomach seemed to disagree, as I got a minor stomach ache, but got over it after taking some Tums.
We hit the pool, again, and just hang out for the rest of the night. We watched some of "Final Destination 3" which was horrible, and just reflected on how good our vacation was going. Little did I know, at the time, I was jinxing myself.
On Thursday, we pack our shit after enjoying a good continental breakfast at the hotel, and leave. We're about 15 minutes out of Council Bluffs when the unthinkable happens...
I'm cruising down the interstate at a modest 74MPH (normally I'd be going about 80, considering it's a 70MPH zone.) I'm following a semi in front of me, and I glance into my rear view mirror. Sure enough, there is a state patrol car behind me. I slow down a bit, but just as my foot rests on the break pedal, the cops lights begin to flash. Speechless, I just look over to Kaylena and said "uhh...I think we're being pulled over..."
The cop pulls us over and walks up to the car. He asks me for license, registration, and proof of insurance. I hand over the license and registration, but do not have proof of insurance. I'm not driving my car, but my mother's, and there is no proof of insurance to be found. The cop, surprisingly, did not seem to mind that I didn't. He asks me to get out of the car and walk back, and take a seat in the passenger seat of his patrol car. He questions Kaylena and returns to his car to question me. I get interrogated - "Where are you coming from? Where are you going? Do you have any drugs in the car? Any open alcohol containers? Any Marijuana? Meth? Cocaine? Heroin? Weapons? Large sums of cash?"
After answering his questions, he tells me that he pulled me over because I was speeding (74 in a 70, mind you) and because my mom's license plate holder was illegal (no idea...). He lets me off with a warning and I return to my car. Me and Kaylena get back on the road and head home. I can't help but laugh over the irony of the entire situation. A perfect vacation followed by a run-in with a state trooper. Would only happen to me...
I returned to work (and reality) on Friday...
The album is almost done. Only minor tweaking and artwork remain. We're setting up a record-release show sometime in August hopefully. I'll keep you posted.
Me and Kaylena depart Dubuque at about 10:00am on Tuesday 7/24. We stop at a gas station to get some snacks and ice and we hit the road. Five minutes later, I realize I forgot the ice, so we decide to stop at a gas station later in the day. The ride from Dubuque to Interstate 80 was pretty smooth. We ended up listening to some Dane Cook standup while driving, and eventually throw in Radiohead's 'The Bends,' which we listen to 4 times before the trip is over. We try to find a nice Chinese restaurant to eat at, but my GPS is fuckin' up, and we basically just get lost in Des Moines. So, we decide "fuck Des Moines" and we get back on the highway.
We eventually stop in West Des Moines to get gas, and spot a TGIFriday's across the road. We decide to eat there. Me and Kaylena both order a strawberry lemonade slushy, and surprisingly the slushies were free-refill. That's a fuckin' win. I order a mushroom & swiss burger, which is pretty much my new favorite burger. Kaylena orders some chicken dish, alfredo, something, I don't remember really. She said it was good. My burger was good, our waitress was great. It was a great start to our trip.
We finally arrive at our hotel, the Settle Inn in Council Bluffs, IA. First thing I notice is that our hotel is in the business district of Council Bluffs. Red Lobster, Golden Corral, Appleby's, and other great restaurants within walking distance...that's a score... We settle in at the hotel, watch some TV until dinner time.
We decide to eat at Red Lobster for dinner. I had the Ultimate Feast and Kaylena had Snow Crab. The Food was spectacular, as Red Lobster always is, and again, the service was great. I was getting pissed at our great service because it cost me a lot of money in tips, but it was worth it. After dinner, we head to the pool area and enjoy some hot tub and pool action. We go upstairs and watch TV until going to sleep.
We awake the next day, the Zoo day. We get ready, and head to the Zoo. I add another state to my "states I've visited" list as we cross into Nebraska. The Zoo is right next to the border, and was easy to find. We enter the Zoo and spend a couple hours enjoying the animals, get some nachos to eat, and finally go and see Deep Sea 3D at the IMAX theater within the Zoo. Great time had by both Kaylena and I.
After the Zoo, we head back to the hotel and eat turkey sandwhiches to hold us off until dinner. We hit the pool again and relax for awhile. We come back to the room and I use my laptop to find other cool shit to do in Omaha. I find the "Old Market" downtown area, which seems cool, so we decide to go.
At the Old Market, there were tons of shops, restaurants with patio seating. It's everything I'd want in a city, for real. We walk around, visit the hippy shop, where Kaylena buys a tanktop, and we visit Drastic Plastic, a record store which had some cool shit, such as Sunn and Boris shirts, and Homer's, a record store where I found gold in some Mogwai, Explosions in the Sky, Sigur Ros, and Zozobra CDs.
After shopping, we head to Famous Dave's BBQ in Old Market, where Kaylena and I attempt to devour the "feast for two." Needless to say, we failed, but the food was good. My stomach seemed to disagree, as I got a minor stomach ache, but got over it after taking some Tums.
We hit the pool, again, and just hang out for the rest of the night. We watched some of "Final Destination 3" which was horrible, and just reflected on how good our vacation was going. Little did I know, at the time, I was jinxing myself.
On Thursday, we pack our shit after enjoying a good continental breakfast at the hotel, and leave. We're about 15 minutes out of Council Bluffs when the unthinkable happens...
I'm cruising down the interstate at a modest 74MPH (normally I'd be going about 80, considering it's a 70MPH zone.) I'm following a semi in front of me, and I glance into my rear view mirror. Sure enough, there is a state patrol car behind me. I slow down a bit, but just as my foot rests on the break pedal, the cops lights begin to flash. Speechless, I just look over to Kaylena and said "uhh...I think we're being pulled over..."
The cop pulls us over and walks up to the car. He asks me for license, registration, and proof of insurance. I hand over the license and registration, but do not have proof of insurance. I'm not driving my car, but my mother's, and there is no proof of insurance to be found. The cop, surprisingly, did not seem to mind that I didn't. He asks me to get out of the car and walk back, and take a seat in the passenger seat of his patrol car. He questions Kaylena and returns to his car to question me. I get interrogated - "Where are you coming from? Where are you going? Do you have any drugs in the car? Any open alcohol containers? Any Marijuana? Meth? Cocaine? Heroin? Weapons? Large sums of cash?"
After answering his questions, he tells me that he pulled me over because I was speeding (74 in a 70, mind you) and because my mom's license plate holder was illegal (no idea...). He lets me off with a warning and I return to my car. Me and Kaylena get back on the road and head home. I can't help but laugh over the irony of the entire situation. A perfect vacation followed by a run-in with a state trooper. Would only happen to me...
I returned to work (and reality) on Friday...
The album is almost done. Only minor tweaking and artwork remain. We're setting up a record-release show sometime in August hopefully. I'll keep you posted.
Sunday, July 15, 2007
Ceremony Ek Stasis
Originally intended to be posted on 7/15:
So yeah... I'm bored and all of my friends are working...except my computer of course. I thought I was going to have something useful to post on this blog, but I don't think I am.
I am, however, going to see Weedeater and Minsk tonight in Iowa City. Should be a good show.
The album is nearly completion. Two songs done, need to be mixed and mastered, a third is about 7/8 done, and the remaining two need guitar tracks. After this, we're going to have them mass produced and you're going to buy one.
Anyone got any money they wanna get rid of for a good cause? Let us know...
So yeah... I'm bored and all of my friends are working...except my computer of course. I thought I was going to have something useful to post on this blog, but I don't think I am.
I am, however, going to see Weedeater and Minsk tonight in Iowa City. Should be a good show.
The album is nearly completion. Two songs done, need to be mixed and mastered, a third is about 7/8 done, and the remaining two need guitar tracks. After this, we're going to have them mass produced and you're going to buy one.
Anyone got any money they wanna get rid of for a good cause? Let us know...
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